The Battle Within

I am both a passionate person and a person who gets discouraged easily. At times it is very difficult to live with both of these qualities within me at the same time. They war within me, battling to see which one can keep the forefront of my mind. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But you know what, I think you resonate with what I'm saying. We all have a battle within us between who God made us to be and who we struggle with being in our human reality. This is the nature of sin. This is the fallen world. Last week the discouraged me won out. I had some let-downs and I was still worn-out from the flu. To make matters worse, I let that voice of discouragement within me leak into the visible, audible world. I put that discouragement and doubt and disappointment to words - out loud.,I sometimes wonder if what I/we are doing in life and in ministry is worth it. I struggle sometimes with the loneliness that comes from people not getting involved in the world around them outside of their own family or their church friends. I struggle because when I read God's Word and see Jesus' examples I read and see a call to get outside of ourselves, outside of our comfort zones, and give ourselves away - radically and sacrificially to people who are not like us, to people who live in a world that is without God and without hope(Ephesians 2:12-13). And that's how I felt last week and that's how I ended up in discouragement; how I ended up in letting discouragement win out over the passion God has placed within me. And then yesterday God gave me a gift - He let me have some insight into the world He sees. 

I don't know why I haven't spoken much on this blog about the ministry work I am involved in. It is, after-all, my blog. And it dawned on me last night that I can write about whatever I want here. I may offend some, but then, hey, you the reader, can choose not to read it. You see, the purpose for me blogging is not for you the reader. (Sorry!) I blog because it is another creative outlet for me.. I blog because there is often a lot of things floating around up in my head and writing on my blog helps me formulate it all and make it cohesive. I blog for me. And so last night as I was pondering my day and my week I was struck with the thought that I want to blog about it.

I sat in church surrounded by a bunch of kids who I call my god-grandchildren, hugging them and loving on them. I looked around me and saw single moms and teachers and kids who all come to our church now because we stepped out of our comfort zone ten years ago and adopted a public school. They are a part of my family now because we heard God call us to get outside of ourselves and serve and love people who are different than us. I saw a young lady who is struggling with addiction and felt God compel me to tell her from Him that it is time for her to be free. And I did and we talked and hugged and cried together. I helped a young man with a homework project after church and shared my love for photography with him and taught him some things. When I took him home I saw one of the teens I haven't seen in a while and gave him a ride to his job. He shared how well he is doing in high school, being on the honor roll, doing well in his job, his plans for his life. I saw his mom who just got a part time job (I think her first) and has stopped drinking and is getting life together at last for both of them. All these things were a glimpse of God giving me encouragement that getting outside of yourself, beyond your own family, outside of your comfort zone is exactly what He has called His people to do - and it is worthwhile. God gave me a glimpse of the impact sacrificing and loving and serving has had on a group of moms and kids and school staff. He showed me that lives have been changed because we were obedient to His call and took the Kingdom of God to the world around us.

Jesus said:

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

If you call yourself a Christ-follower then this is your call: to follow the Jesus way, to embrace His truth and to live His life. How?

He also said: ",,and anyone who does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:38-39. Friends, we have to live as Jesus did, sacrificially giving our lives away for Him and for the sake of those who are far from Him. There is an economic principle at work in God's kingdom that doesn't make sense to those who don't follow God. When you give away your money, your time, yourself for God's work then He makes sure your family, your provision and your life are taken care of. So many people tell me they can't get involved in what God is calling us to because they have to take care of kids, homeschool, take care of people in the church family - It's all self-focused and self-centered. Sure we have to have things in place to take care of ourselves, our family and our church family, but that's not the end-run. God's ways are the end-run. When we do what God has called us to do then He provides what is needed to take care of His own. Step out of your comfort zone for God.

Because Jesus also said: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." Mark 12:30-31

And He said: "As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35

How will "all people" know that we love one another and that we are Jesus' disciples if we never get outside of ourselves, our comfort zones, our families, our church family? How will they see it?

Well, that's the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life this weekend. I am so grateful that despite my struggle with discouragement and despite how often I fail at loving and forgiving those in my church family and in my biological family, that God graces me with a glimpse of how He is using my willingness to get outside myself to help Him impact and change the lives of others. I am blessed with His free gifts of love and grace.

If I have offended anyone reading my blog I apologize. It's my blog. If you don't like what I have to say then, by all means, close the screen. Don't read it. But if you are a Christ-follower then I ask you to read God's Word and pray about how He is calling you to give up your life, follow Him and His ways and get outside of your comfort zone. Serve the people around you who do not know Christ and allow Him to use YOU in their lives for God's glory.

And guess what? You'll see a lot more about ministry here in the future...along with art and photography, kids and birds.

Another gift this weekend was seeing an Eagle on my sunrise beach walk!

We had our staff retreat this weekend on Lake Erie. Saturday morning I went for a sunrise walk on the beach. Even though it was 33 degrees and brisk, the sky was clear and the sun was out and it was so refreshing! All photos in this post are from that walk.

Frost 

Choose Your Lens

August brings with it a new theme for the Take Me Deeper devotions at His Kingdom Come. Our theme this month is about gratitude. This month we want to dig in a little deeper and look at being thankful as a way to focus on God and change our perspective on life and circumstances. The theme this month is very personal to me because it is the journey God has had me on for the past few years. God has used gratitude and focusing on His blessings in my life as a way to pull me up out of burn-out. He has given me opportunities to choose to change the lens I look at life through: I can either let circumstances dictate how I view God or I can choose to look at life through God's lens - through prayer and dependence on Him. Our devotions this month are going to focus on the impact that thanksgiving and gratitude can have on how we view life and circumstances. Philippians 4:4-9 will serve as our guide on how our view of life's circumstances can be turned around and lead to joy and peace in the Lord. Join us! Take Me Deeper is a weekly devotion and faithart group.Joining is free at his-kingdom-come.com

I was inspired by Kathy Shaull, one of the HKC ambassadors, who has been doing a theme each month for her devotion inspired art pages. I made two sets of background pages so that there would be a theme running through my devotion pages,

The set with the circles was done by painting onto my 4:inch circle Gelli plate. I liked the texture the brush strokes made when I stamped onto the background page. The second set of pages were made using book and magazine pages with pieces of painted and gessoed paper scraps. I chose this second set for my August pages and will use the other set in a future month. And here is my first page for the month:

I didn't use a verse from the Philippians passage on my page but this verse from 1 Thessalonians really sums up well the choice to view life through God's lens - rejoice, pray, give thanks in all circumstances.

May you choose to see God's blessings in your life this week and make time to make art!

Monday Meandering on Tuesday 7.7.15

I meant to write this blog post yesterday, but the day got away from me.... honestly so did the month of June. It flew right by and I didn't even notice. It ended up being much busier than I had planned. In the midst of helping at Vacation Bible School, writing devotions for His Kingdom Come, and meeting a few other deadlines, I ended up with a 10 day visit from bronchitis, who was a very unwelcome guest. Not much I could do about it so I'm just going to move one and enjoy July and August.

We started July off with a visit to my sister to meet the newest member of our family. My niece had her first child in May and it was wonderful to meet him and to watch her being a mother! Here is our little man, Case.

Friday morning my sister and I took a walk and it was like being at a bird sanctuary! I guess the lake draws the birds. We stopped more to take pictures than we actually walked. 

White Breasted Nuthatch

Blue Heron

Cedar Waxwing

Female Red Winged Blackbird

Red Winged Blackbird

Sandhill Crane

Red-bellied Woodpecker

We also saw an Indigo Bunting, Gold Finch, Hummingbird, Swallows and Sparrows. I know, I'm obsessed with birds. I just love how creative God was when He created them. There are so many sizes and varieties, it's never boring.

July begins a new theme for the Take Me Deeper devotions at His Kingdom Come. This month we are exploring what it looks like to have a culture of Honor in the kingdom of God. Our first week looked at being dependent on God and having child-like faith. And while there was a lot to dig into and study, I found myself drawn to the theme verse for the month found in Revelation 4:11. In fact, that verse really connected me with other verses in Revelation that exalt and honor God so it has become my theme for my art this month.

The leaves are scraps from Gelli print papers.

I have been immersed these past few weeks in reading and studying about gratitude for the devotions for August. 

*Sneak peek: our theme in August is about having our mindset shaped by gratitude and it includes some practical stories from our HKC foundation team members. 

I read and studied far more than I could fit into the devotions and I was reconnected with how practicing gratitude was one of the first steps that began my journey out of burnout. So, watch for quotes and posts on gratitude in the coming weeks.

Have a good week and thanks for stopping by my blog and visiting. :)

Thankful Thursdays

I am taking part in Thankful Thursdays -  a new meme originating from His Kingdom Come.

This week I am thankful for:

1.  Spending a long weekend in Florida with the foundation team  of  His Kingdom Come. For most of us, it was the first time we had met in person    since we began the HKC community. I cannot begin to adequately describe how well we gel together as a team. We had fun, created a lot of art, and got a lot of business done.And wait until you see the collaborative class we put together which will come out next month on the HKC site!

2.  I am so thankful that it is Spring, although it is colder this week, there are leaves appearing on trees and flowers blooming in gardens. This season of new life is my favorite time of year!

3.  I am thankful that our girls are happy in their marriages. One celebrated their third anniversary this week and the other celebrates her third anniversary in June. They married great guys that I am pleased to call sons!

4.  I am thankful that through the outreach ministry of our church that God has brought into my life a few ladies and their children who I now call family. He has blessed me with a bunch of kids who are now my God-grandchildren. My friend Shonna used one of them as a model for an adult coloring book project she is working on for HKC.

                              

5.  I am thankful for my hubby. He is so supportive and encouraging in everything I do. (This one may appear on the list every week - just sayin'!)

Join us at HKC and share what you are thankful for this week. :)

More Art Journaling Today

I started a new altered book art journal earlier this year, but I found as I got further into it that the pages were just too thin, so I'm not too happy with how they hold up under paint and glue. I'll have to cut out the pages I have done and add them to another journal.

I mainly have been plugging along keeping up with my journal for the Documented Life Project. Here are the pages I finished this weekend as I work to catch up. The challenge for week 23 was to practice gratitude and write what we were grateful for each day. So, for week 23 I combined the challenge with my planner pages. And had some fun with cut-out letters!  I find cut-out letters to be a relaxing activity and I'm always pleased with the results.

In April I made a new altered book binder journal so I could take step-by-step pictures for the tutorial I made. I have been working on a few pages here and there in that journal as well. 

A quote from a book I am reading:
The Artisan Soul, by Erwin McManus

This was a page I never posted from May's Gratitude Challenge

I love working in the binder style of altered book journals, but I found this past week that I missed working in the other style of altered book journal, especially when it comes to making double page spreads. So I started altering one of the books I picked up at the book sales I attended last Thursday. I haven't taken any pictures yet, but they'll come soon. :)

Tomorrow I go back to the office and meetings after a 10 day break. It was a good period of rest and renewing my energy....I could go for another week! If all goes well through the week I intend to have part 2 of the Altered Book Journal tutorial done and posted by the weekend.

Hoping you all have a good week and that you are able to make some white space in each day to make a little art. :)

This Week's Projects

Recent pages from The Documented Life Project:

Week 19

Week 19 side 1

Week 19 side 2

Recent pages from The Art of Practising Gratitude challenge:

Day 5:Be Kind

One of my favorite techniques: cut-out letters from painted papers

Day 3: Inspire

Blessed To Be A Blessing

This morning I find myself thinking about blessings for a number of reasons:

• This is today's topic over at Bernice Hopper's challenge blog, The Art of Practising Gratitude, and I just happen to be the guest blogger today. Be A Blessing Post 
  
• The past few weeks have been very busy but, thankfully, I have spent a lot of time with kids, and kids are a blessing to me. I never felt a "call" to do ministry with children. It's never been a passion of mine. But back in 2005, when God called our church to reach out to the neighborhood surrounding the church, and adopting a public school was the way He was leading us to do this, I got connected with doing what He called us to do. And over the years, as I have tried to be faithful to serving as God has called our church to, these kids have grabbed hold of my heart and God has created a new passion and calling for my life. 
  
• Last weekend I chaperoned 12 kids, ages 7-15, for a weekend at a camp we are associated with called Youth Haven Ranch. It wasn't really an easy weekend. There was petty squabbling in the car, a trip to the ER, not much sleep, and some pouting and pre-teen drama. BUT, in the midst of all that I enjoyed what I always enjoy at camp: watching kids get loved on and told about how much God loves them. A couple of our kids were there as "Leaders in Training" and I was so proud watching them. Just five years ago they were among the first of the little kids we took up to camp, who were loved on by the team leaders, and now they spent the weekend giving themselves over to serving kids. 
  
• When I got home from camp on Sunday, my step-daughter, her husband, and her step-sons were at the house waiting to share part of Mother's Day with me. During their visit, my daughter in Charleston, SC called and it was almost like we were all together. I'm so proud of my beautiful adult daughters and the lives they have made for themselves.
• Working in full time ministry isn't always easy. Working with people isn't easy. There are many times I'm worn-out and worn-down by it. But today, I am reminded of the many blessings God has given me and many of them are a result of being in full time ministry. I am blessed.
  

Art journal pages made for The Art of Practising Gratitude challenge guest blog post:

A Busy Little Blog Post

There's a lot going on in this blog post this morning!

 First, I was so excited when I opened Julie Fei-Fan Balzer's Friday post this morning! Julie has a regular Friday feature called Art Journal Every Day. Each Friday she offers a post about her daily art journaling practice and will include guest artist interviews, photos of her art journal pages, tutorials, etc. Last week she did a post about the five basic art journal supplies she would recommend to a beginner art journaler and then asked her readers to submit a picture of the five items they would add to her list. So I submitted my photos and found this morning that Julie had included my photos in her post this morning. Thank you Julie! Here is the link: Balzerdesigns.typepad/artjournaleveryday

Second, I have a new tutorial on the blog: Altered Book Binder Journal. I have had so many requests for instructions on how I make my art journal binders from old books, I finally took some pictures as I made my most recent journal. Check out the tutorial page on the tabs at the top of the blog.

Last, I have some recent art journal pages for The Documented Life Project and The Art of Practising Gratitude challenge.

Doc Life Week 18 page spread

Doc Life wk 18 side 1

Doc Life wk 18 side 2

The Art of Practising Gratitude day 2: Positive

I hope your weekend includes time to be creative!