The Battle Within

I am both a passionate person and a person who gets discouraged easily. At times it is very difficult to live with both of these qualities within me at the same time. They war within me, battling to see which one can keep the forefront of my mind. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But you know what, I think you resonate with what I'm saying. We all have a battle within us between who God made us to be and who we struggle with being in our human reality. This is the nature of sin. This is the fallen world. Last week the discouraged me won out. I had some let-downs and I was still worn-out from the flu. To make matters worse, I let that voice of discouragement within me leak into the visible, audible world. I put that discouragement and doubt and disappointment to words - out loud.,I sometimes wonder if what I/we are doing in life and in ministry is worth it. I struggle sometimes with the loneliness that comes from people not getting involved in the world around them outside of their own family or their church friends. I struggle because when I read God's Word and see Jesus' examples I read and see a call to get outside of ourselves, outside of our comfort zones, and give ourselves away - radically and sacrificially to people who are not like us, to people who live in a world that is without God and without hope(Ephesians 2:12-13). And that's how I felt last week and that's how I ended up in discouragement; how I ended up in letting discouragement win out over the passion God has placed within me. And then yesterday God gave me a gift - He let me have some insight into the world He sees. 

I don't know why I haven't spoken much on this blog about the ministry work I am involved in. It is, after-all, my blog. And it dawned on me last night that I can write about whatever I want here. I may offend some, but then, hey, you the reader, can choose not to read it. You see, the purpose for me blogging is not for you the reader. (Sorry!) I blog because it is another creative outlet for me.. I blog because there is often a lot of things floating around up in my head and writing on my blog helps me formulate it all and make it cohesive. I blog for me. And so last night as I was pondering my day and my week I was struck with the thought that I want to blog about it.

I sat in church surrounded by a bunch of kids who I call my god-grandchildren, hugging them and loving on them. I looked around me and saw single moms and teachers and kids who all come to our church now because we stepped out of our comfort zone ten years ago and adopted a public school. They are a part of my family now because we heard God call us to get outside of ourselves and serve and love people who are different than us. I saw a young lady who is struggling with addiction and felt God compel me to tell her from Him that it is time for her to be free. And I did and we talked and hugged and cried together. I helped a young man with a homework project after church and shared my love for photography with him and taught him some things. When I took him home I saw one of the teens I haven't seen in a while and gave him a ride to his job. He shared how well he is doing in high school, being on the honor roll, doing well in his job, his plans for his life. I saw his mom who just got a part time job (I think her first) and has stopped drinking and is getting life together at last for both of them. All these things were a glimpse of God giving me encouragement that getting outside of yourself, beyond your own family, outside of your comfort zone is exactly what He has called His people to do - and it is worthwhile. God gave me a glimpse of the impact sacrificing and loving and serving has had on a group of moms and kids and school staff. He showed me that lives have been changed because we were obedient to His call and took the Kingdom of God to the world around us.

Jesus said:

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

If you call yourself a Christ-follower then this is your call: to follow the Jesus way, to embrace His truth and to live His life. How?

He also said: ",,and anyone who does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:38-39. Friends, we have to live as Jesus did, sacrificially giving our lives away for Him and for the sake of those who are far from Him. There is an economic principle at work in God's kingdom that doesn't make sense to those who don't follow God. When you give away your money, your time, yourself for God's work then He makes sure your family, your provision and your life are taken care of. So many people tell me they can't get involved in what God is calling us to because they have to take care of kids, homeschool, take care of people in the church family - It's all self-focused and self-centered. Sure we have to have things in place to take care of ourselves, our family and our church family, but that's not the end-run. God's ways are the end-run. When we do what God has called us to do then He provides what is needed to take care of His own. Step out of your comfort zone for God.

Because Jesus also said: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." Mark 12:30-31

And He said: "As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35

How will "all people" know that we love one another and that we are Jesus' disciples if we never get outside of ourselves, our comfort zones, our families, our church family? How will they see it?

Well, that's the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life this weekend. I am so grateful that despite my struggle with discouragement and despite how often I fail at loving and forgiving those in my church family and in my biological family, that God graces me with a glimpse of how He is using my willingness to get outside myself to help Him impact and change the lives of others. I am blessed with His free gifts of love and grace.

If I have offended anyone reading my blog I apologize. It's my blog. If you don't like what I have to say then, by all means, close the screen. Don't read it. But if you are a Christ-follower then I ask you to read God's Word and pray about how He is calling you to give up your life, follow Him and His ways and get outside of your comfort zone. Serve the people around you who do not know Christ and allow Him to use YOU in their lives for God's glory.

And guess what? You'll see a lot more about ministry here in the future...along with art and photography, kids and birds.

Another gift this weekend was seeing an Eagle on my sunrise beach walk!

We had our staff retreat this weekend on Lake Erie. Saturday morning I went for a sunrise walk on the beach. Even though it was 33 degrees and brisk, the sky was clear and the sun was out and it was so refreshing! All photos in this post are from that walk.

Frost 

Ah, June....

June is here.
School is almost done and we take a break from our ministry there. At least for a few weeks until we start the school supply drive in July. Field Day was Friday and it was a blast. What a great opportunity for us to serve the students, teachers and families. Building community as we serve together; reaching the community, serving the community, serving God and loving others together. It was a great day.

Field Day 2012

June is here.
The weather is pleasant and not too hot.
I'm ready to dial down the activity and relax.
I'm ready to play with art. Read more books. Sit on the porch.
If it weren't for heat and humidity, I would really, really like summer a lot!

"Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee." {Augustine}

"There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God." {John Calvin}

This is my theme for the summer...to continue on this journey of knowing myself and knowing God...that I might serve you more fully, Lord.

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To get my creative juices flowing I am participating in a journaling challenge at http://www.iheartrunwithscissors.com/2012/05/3rd-annual-30-day-journal-challenge.html

WIP: Missional - Things Often Collide

1. "You must not want for others what they do not want for themselves." Principle #1 form the Biblical Rescue class I am taking by Dan Rogers of the Cherry Street Mission.

2. "Ask the people you are serving to identify their needs and dreams, rather than assuming you know what they need." From our staff book study of "The Externally Focused Church".

3. "Fikkert makes a compelling point in this chapter that many of us miss: poor people tend to describe their condition in more psychological and social terms. That is, most of us see poverty as lack of food, money, medicine, or housing. The poor talk about their poverty in terms of shame, inferiority, fear, hopelessness, isolation, and voicelessness (53). This has profound implications for how we help the poor. “One of the biggest problems in many poverty-alleviation efforts is that their design and implementation exacerbates the poverty of being of the economically rich–their god-complexes–and the poverty of being of the economically poor–their feelings of inferiority and shame” (65). In other words, when we march in and give the poor the stuff we think they need, we are only making them feel poorer, as they understand poverty." From a book review by Kevin DeYoung of "When Helping Hurts" by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert.

So, I am reading the book mentioned in #3 while attending the class mentioned in #1. And the principle mentioned in #2 has been a defining principle as we have shaped our ministry to the school and community we serve. It always amazes me how I can get involved in multiple things and hear the same message being expressed in all of them. Things often "collide" like that for me.

I think what is common to all three of the above statements is that in serving people and loving them as God does, we must slow down and build relationships with them. Get to know THEM. Violating any of the above principles is really about our own expectations. It's about us - our needs, our stuff, our pride, our self-image. In order to really serve and love people we need to work at releasing all of our stuff and move ahead in God's power, seeking His heart and His purpose. When we are able to do this then we truly serve people, we truly love people, we truly serve God's purpose, and God receives the glory due His name.

So much in life for me lately keeps coming back to expectations.

Use Your Own Voice

I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman... a Proverbs 31:8-9 woman.

⁸ Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

When I think of speaking up, I think of God's call on me to use the voice He has given me. Use your own voice is a phrase that came to me a few years ago and that God has used to help me look at the talents, abilities, passions and personality he has created in me as tools for His glory. He has used my own close brush with poverty, my years as a single parent, and many other events in my life to bring me to this place where I feel called to be a voice for those who have no voice. For children living in dysfunction or poverty, for single moms, for those living in generational poverty. Many of these people have no voice or have had their voices silenced by our culture and systems that serve more to oppress than bring freedom. Being a voice by definition means speaking up for someone; making their plight known. Being a voice is also about helping people in these situations see that there are other ways in life and to begin to help them see themselves and life through a perspective of hope. After all ,this is what we have in Christ, new eyes to see through a perspective of His hope.
My prayer: May He continue to help me figure out how to use my own voice and speak up for those He has called me to. And may I, and those I serve, be continually impacted by His hope.

WIP: Missional

A few years ago, as our church began it's shift to an outwardly focused mindset, I began exploring what it means to be missional. But I got distracted by other things and slowly drifted away from my pursuit of understanding. I would occassionally dabble in it when I ran across a book, article or blog that pertained to the topic, but I didn't stick around and dig in. Lately I've been feeling the draw to return to digging into my pursuit of understanding this phrase and theology as it seems vital to where we find ourselves as a church right now...or at least where I find myself in my life and ministry.
So I thought peridoically I would write in WIP (work in progress): Missional to share what I am exploring as I explore it. It will be a way to help me formulate my thoughts and bring together all that I am reading. I'm not going to go back and start at the beginning of my studies from years past, but just dive into where I am right now.

At the root of studying missional is the question: What is our mission as God's people, as the Church? It's a question of purpose and identity. Yet is is also a question of mindset and lifestyle.

"Don't confuse missional with any methodology of "doing" church. Missional is about a way of "being" the church in the world. It's not about a what; it's about a who. The missional church is the people of God partnering in God's redemptive mission in the world...As the people of God we're to reflect God's heart to the world."

Reggie McNeal, Catching the Missional Wave, Rev Mag., March/April 2009

This past week I have been absorbed in looking at John's use of the word "sent" in his Gospel. John uses two Greek words (pempo and apostello) for sent/send in his Gospel and it is determined by many biblical scholars that their use is synonymous. An example of this is in John 20:21:

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”

"Sent" is pempo and "sending" is apostello. John uses these words a total of 42 times in his Gospel, which is 27% of their combined usage in the New Testament.
 A.C. Winn writes in A Sense of Mission:

"A significant aspect of John the theologian's theological method is the repeated use of certain key words. He repeats ordinary words in such a fashion that they bear extraordinary theological freight. Such words include light, darkness, spirit, flesh, life, love, glory, witness, judgment, truth, Father, Son, world, work, sign, disciple, know, believe. It has not so often been noticed that there is a third great verb along with 'know' and 'believe', the verb 'send, sent'. This is the great missionary verb…" (Winn 1981:17 cf. Arias 1992:82).

So, from just this small amount of study on the frequency of John's use of the word "sent", I'm beginning to get a picture that not only is John's Gospel an evangelistic book and an edifying book, but it is also a missional book. 

"As the father has sent me, I am sending you." Jesus' mission is our mission. In many of the same passages where Jesus speaks of being sent by the Father, he also speaks of his own dependency on the Father.
"I tell you the truth, The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does....By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me." John 5:19, 30
"For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me." John 6:38
See also John 4:34; 7:16; 7:28; 8:28-29, 42; 12:49; 14:24.

Questions I'm pondering:

• What does it look like for us to be God's "sent" people in everyday life, both individually as Christ-followers and corporately as the church?
• If our identity as God's people is as those who are sent into the world as Jesus was sent into the world, how does that change the way we define the word mission and how we typically think of "missions" as simply a program of the church?
• What perspectives and mindsets do we need to change in the church to live and operate as God's sent people? To live missionally? To think missionally?
• Other words used for Christ-followers that have the feeling of being "sent" are ambassadors, messengers, apostles, missionaries. Does our view of how we live in everyday life change if we think of ourselves in these terms?
• If Jesus, the Son of God, was so dependent on God the Father, how much more must I/we be dependent on him to do the mission He has called us to?

The Fullness of Christ

" And God placed all things under His feet and appointed Him to be head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him, who fills everything in every way." Ephesians 1:22-23
I've been thinking about this verse for a few days now. Paul says the church is the fullness of Christ. How is the church the fullness of Christ? My thought is that it is incarnational. The church, Christ's body, is the physical form of His presence on earth. It is His fullness manifested. In its expression, the church is the fullness of Christ displayed, embodied. This morning I pondered other Scripture on how Jesus embodied God the Father.
Jesus is described as:
"He is the image of the invisible God." Colossians 1:15
"The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word." Hebrews 1:3
"the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." 2 Corinthians 4:4
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth...No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made him known."  John 1:14, 18
"God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in the Son."  Colossians 1:19
"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority." Colossians 2:9-10

We embody Christ through the words and deeds of His gospel. John the Baptist's disciples asked Jesus if he was the one who was to come, the promised Messiah. He replied: "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor." Luke 7:22

"As the Body of Christ, we are the community through which Christ is present in and reaching out to the world. The witnessing role of the church is the representation to the world (and to each other in the church) of the fact and opportunity of the gospel. To be the Body of Christ, then, means to be the channels through which the work of Christ continues to be done. Christ has committed to his church the proclamation of the great event of reconciliation that he accomplished on the cross, and, in that sense, the completion of the work he both began and did: the declaration of the "wonderful deed of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" (1 Pet. 2:9). As his Body, we are to incorporate ("embody") that message as we proclaim it."  Darrell Guder, Be My Witnesses, p28.

It is important that, as Christ-followers, we each embody Christ in us in word and in deed. But, I think it is more important, in light of Paul's description of the church as the fullness of Christ, to think about how the church corporately lives out our identity and role as the fullness of Christ. Together we embody Christ who embodied God the Father. We proclaim to the world in deed and in word the fullness of Christ. And one of those ways we embody this is through love. God always brings it back to that.
"No one has ever seen God: but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."  1 John 4:12
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

Incarnational and missional. The fullness of Christ.